“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” – Ernest Hemingway

Life is like a race. There is no other way but forward. There are a lot of obstacles along the way and if you’re not careful you might crash and burn.

We are all athletes in our own rights. We walk through life with the intention of beating the odds. We hone our skills and learn from experience.

There is more than one way to reach a goal. I realized life isn’t always a sprint and there are moments where you can’t just go barreling through. Life is more like a marathon, a test of endurance and strength. It’s more than a physical battle, it’s an emotional and mental war as well. It’s keeping up with the pressure while going at a pace that challenges you.

And it’s not all about winning. Yes, reaching your goal is important and it’s hypocrisy to say otherwise. But wouldn’t it be better to get to your goal knowing you enjoyed the run? Wouldn’t it feel more rewarding knowing that you may have passed people along the way but never, not even once, did anything to hurt them?

We all have goals in our lives, places we need to be and things we want to achieve. But we must always remember that life isn’t all that, it more complex and more beautiful than what it is. It’s more than just the race, more than just winning and achieving your goals. Those are bountiful rewards for hard work and perseverance.

Life is more about how you ran and what you did while you were running. Its how you pick yourself up after a fall and how you managed to reach your goal despite the obstacles along the way. Setting a good example for the people you inspire and knowing that you courageously carried the weight of their dreams with you when you crossed the finish line. Isn’t it more rewarding that way?

Start with two oblongs or circles (whichever you prefer)

I can’t remember the last time I’ve prayed. I’m not a religious person but it bothers me that I can’t remember.

I graduated from a Catholic school run by nuns and spent almost 11 years there, praying was a natural thing to do. I used to go to mass in the morning before class and know verses from the Bible that I find uplifting and motivational. I loved reading stories and once had the privilege to teach Catechism. I went to church with my family to hear the Sunday mass and had a rosary on my pocket just because it felt empty without it there. When I felt lost the place I first go to was the church, it doesn’t matter if I kneel or pray, just being there calmed me.

When did I forget? Why? It’s not much about forgetting the words or the stories, those things are easily learned and understood, it’s more of forgetting the feeling. And the more I think about it, the more I feel guilty and confused.

I still pray but not really pray. Every day I ask for my family’s safety, for their health and I ask for forgiveness. But that’s not really praying, it’s like going through motions, reciting a rehearsed line over and over. It feels empty.

I had the opportunity to live in Dubai for some time and while I was there I got the chance to interact with people whose faith seemed stronger than mine. There I saw people stop whatever it is they’re doing to cleanse themselves and kneel for prayer regardless of where they were. It was both beautiful and inspiring.

I know how to pray, it’s not like I forgot how. It’s like confiding your secrets to a friend.

It’s just that somehow, I can’t bring myself to do it. I know if I just say the words it wouldn’t be any different from how I am doing it right now and that’s not what I want or what I need. It scares me to think of what will happen if I kneel and start to really pray. I’m afraid of how vulnerable I’d feel after and that fear stops me from surrendering and opening my heart. I am afraid, I admit it, and unless I get over my fear I will not find the peace I want. There is a lot of things I want to say but I cannot find the words how. But sometimes, when I feel too troubled, I close my eyes and I know I don’t need heavy-handed words, if I just stay still, even for a time, I feel a little unburdened, a little bit stronger and I know, for sure, He is just waiting for me to be ready and come to Him on my own.

“If you don’t stand for something you will fall for anything.” – Malcolm X 

Everybody needs something to believe in, something to stand and fight for. It may not always be right, often times it’s too complicated to understand but the bottom line is it’s better to believe in something than nothing at all. Just because you can’t see it, it doesn’t mean it’s not there. Just because you cannot understand, it doesn’t mean it’s not true. And not everything you fight for is right.

I believe in family, in second chances and I believe in choices. I stand for respect for others and I put my faith on those who deserve it. I am not perfect. My beliefs may be superficial and petty but they are what sustains me. They are what gives me courage to live and breathe every day. They get me through thick and tough times. They inspire me to keep going and moving forward.

I have my moments, situations that makes me question myself and what I believe in. Like everybody else, I have my moments of weakness. But I learned that once you start to doubt then everything you’ve worked for will be gone. Once you start to second guess yourself then it’s all over.

“One of the saddest things in life, is the things one remembers.” – Agatha Christie

Reminiscing is one of my favorite past times. I like that walk through memory lane trying to recapture moments that I know can never be duplicated. I laugh, cry and get angry with my past self like I’m remembering situations that happened to some other person other than me. There are many things that I could have done differently but knowing who I am and knowing what I want from my life I know that regardless of how many times I replay it on my mind or even if I am granted a miracle and do things all over again, I know I would not change a thing. I’m stubborn that way.

Memories can be altered, manipulated or destroyed. It can be preserved and protected but some memories, no matter what we do, fade through time. It’s not because we want to forget, it’s just that they’re often overshadowed by new ones. And there are some that cannot be forgotten no matter how hard we try.

Life changing moments are often the saddest of memories a person can have. Not by choice but by chance. People never forget situations that not only changed their lives but altered something deep inside of them, something that either awakened their potential to be great or killed a part of who they used to be.  And it doesn’t matter how long or how hard we fight, these are memories that cannot denied or replaced. They are a constant reminder, etched in our lives that can either push us forward or slowly eat us from the inside.

All of us have memories we enjoy and memories we would rather forget. A point in time that we want to safe guard and revisit over and over or and instance we’d rather not think of ever again. Some makes us smile and think that yes, life is beautiful and I am happy and there are others that makes us ask why. But regardless of what your memory brings, whether its laughter or tears, your memories are your own. It’s a part of who you are, it is what makes you, you. Happy or sad, you’re here today because of those moments and without them you’d be nothing but an empty shell waiting to be carried off by the tide, going through the motions and forever wondering who you really are.